musings...

sometimes I feel lost in my own head, I haven't yet learned to tame the thoughts making devlish merry in my mind. I tend to find myself drowning in waves of emotionally charged thoughts and start finding things to blame and fault. I guess it's just a human trait.
In these moments, which have been a little too frequent lately, I try to remember what it is that i feel best doing, I remind myself what an amazing place I'm in and that I have lovely folks surrounding me.
Once I take the time to ground myself, It's as if my 'real' self is laughing, saying 'what on earth were you fretting about?' but then a few hours later I feel the same again.
I am so lucky, writing it down helps me to remember that, but this trip has thrown me headlong into a new world, a new whirl. I suddenly have to be a sole person, alone at times, managing my life all by myself. And it has been much easier than I thought, but sometimes I forget that I'm still little 19 year old me and I can let myself feel vulnerable sometimes.

I don't need to remind myself how lucky and supported I am, but I am allowed to have days of missing home, friends, family, boyfriend, house, bed, chickens, dog, neighbours, smells of gum trees.

Just writing these words has alleviated all my down feelings.
Also a little trip back to the start of my blog was just lovely, memories of blissful Irish times.


love

I promise I'll be back with a more interesting post soon ;)